I haven't blogged here for a while because a lot has happened. Daddy suddenly worsened and died a couple of weeks ago. Then there was the funeral, and then I moved back to Amarillo to live with Tom and Sue.
Last night proved to me that I am not coping with the last few weeks as well as I appeared to be doing. My dreams were not nightmares, but close. I dreamed that all manner of religious people and authorities were threatening me. I was back in Borger in some little hole-in-the-wall makeshift "church" and some bully was screaming at me that Daddy and "God" were mad at me for upetting Daddy by trying to clean him up that last time we had to change him, the night before he died. I mumbled something about it being bullshit and the bully came raging at me, screaming that I MUST believe as he told me. Every word I spoke triggered another tirade. Linda yanked me out of the building and told me I had to apologize and pretend to believe because if I didn't I would be hutt or killed. Then, suddenly, I was in southern Utah, and everyone around me (other than Linda) was a polygamist. I kept explaining that I wasn't supposed to be there but they kept threatening me.
I'll try to add more later if/when I can reconstruct it in my mind.
